Forget it. Never explain; never apologize. You can either write posthumously or you can't.

Terrorism is the tactic of demanding the impossible, and demanding it at gunpoint.

Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance as someone who will set the table on a roar.

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that's where it should stay.

There is an unusually high and consistent correlation between the stupidity of a given person and that person’s propensity to be impressed by the measurement of IQ.

Everyone in Iran is perceived to be a child with a paternal authority vested in the Guardian Council and the Sufi elders. They're supposed to be grateful. They can never for a moment not be afforded this wonderful protection. The father who will never go away. The father who will never quit caring for them.

There is no English surname, however ancient and dignified, that cannot instantly be improved by the prefix ‘Spanker’.