What is it you most dislike? Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and superstition.

The fact is: It's true what they say about the United States. It is a land of opportunity. It is too various to get bored with it.

A gentleman is never rude except on purpose - I can honestly be nasty sober, believe you me.

Those who want to be offended don't have the right to try and close down the newspaper that offends them.

Whenever I hear some bigmouth in Washington or the Christian heartland banging on about the evils of sodomy or whatever, I mentally enter his name in my notebook and contentedly set my watch. Sooner rather than later, he will be discovered down on his weary and well-worn old knees in some dreary motel or latrine, with an expired Visa card, having tried to pay well over the odds to be peed upon by some Apache transvestite.

Religion is not just incongruent with morality, but in essential ways incompatible with it.

Well look, I mean, I think that prayer and holy water, and things like that are all fine. They don't do any good, but they don't necessarily do any harm. It's touching to be thought of in that way. It makes up for those who tell me that I've got my just desserts.