Abby: I could be a slave to your darkest desires. I can do things. Anything you want. Tommy: Well, that's terrific, because we have a lot of laundry piled up and the apartment is a wreck. Abby: Anything you desire, my lord. I can do laundry, clean, bring you small creatures to quench your thirst until I am worthy.

One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.

Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs?" -Tommy

Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.

Ack! Parables. I hate parables.

Oh, I get it," I said. "It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.