Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.

After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.

He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.

Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby

Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.

Yo, yo, yo, check it out," said PJ, with enough hand gestures that any deaf person watching would have thought he had ASL Tourette's syndrome

He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.