An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.

Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.

Blessed are the dumbfucks.

Little-boy love...the cleanest pain I've ever known. Love without desire, conditions, or limits - a pure and radiant glow in the heart that could make me giddy and sad and glorious all at once. Where does it go? Why, in all their experiments, did the Magi never try to capture that purity in a bottle? Perhaps they couldn't.

Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.