I like storms. I would say I actively like stormy weather. I would not be afraid of them. I think that if I had not pursued journalism, I think storm-chasing would've been a really fun career.

The essays are very solipsistic and self-absorbed, I'm totally conscious of that. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself.

By now, everyone I know is one of seven strangers, inevitably hoping to represent a predefined demographic and always failing horribly. The Read World is the real world is The Real World is the read world. It’s the same true story, even when it isn’t.

Every time I learn the truth about something, I’m disappointed

We all eventually become whatever we pretend to hate.

First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much.

Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.