I want fake love. But that's all I want, and that's why I can't have it.

I used to watch a lot of documentaries about Satanic possession - and I don't know if this is racist or not - but in the documentaries, it never happened to Americans! It was always happening in Central America or South America; that's where the priest was always going down to exorcise possessed people. So I didn't have a lot of fear of being possessed by the devil.

In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.

We all eventually become whatever we pretend to hate.

If I knew I was going to die at a specific moment in the future, it would be nice to be able to control what song I was listening to; this is why I always bring my iPod on airplanes.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled.