You can't base your life on the past or the present. You have to tell me about your future.

You can spend your whole life building a wall of facts between you and anything real.

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

I think we're in an age starved for genuine experiences, instead of cathartic phony experiences through the media, structured, engineered experiences. And those are the fast food, the masturbation of experience. They don't really exhaust any aspect of ourselves; they don't make us any stronger.

To hell with housework, our top priority has always been between our legs.

This is passive-aggression in action.

Life's greatest comfort is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you.