When you're thinking about the rest of your life, you're never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.

We just had a near-life experience!

Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.

A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death.

I'm really glad that I made a lot of mistakes, poorly chose my friends throughout my twenties, and didn't have a rocket trajectory that set me on one path without making any mistakes or having any setbacks. The older I get, the more I realize that it's all of these failed, horrible things from my past, and the stories that they generated, that are the things I will draw on for the rest of my life.

There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there. It’s up to you to find them.

Give me lust, baby. Flash. Give me malice. Flash. Give me detached existentialist ennui. Flash. Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism. Flash.