Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.

If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

This is passive-aggression in action.

And the more she could imagine this island, the less she liked the real world. The more she could imagine the people, the less she liked any real people.

The most boring thing in the entire world is nudity. The second most boring thing is honesty.

As a child of the 1970s, I couldn't hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case. After I gave up television, I found I could carry longer and longer stories or ideas in my head and put them together until I was carrying an entire short story. That's pretty much when I started writing.

It's obsequious little nicety-nice girls like me who allow assholes to run the world: Miss Harlot O'Harlots, billionaire phony tree huggers, hypocrite drug-snorting, weed-puffing peace activists who fund the mass-murdering drug cartels and perpetuate crushing poverty in dirt-poor banana republics. It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities.