I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. But by the time I was 33, to tell you the truth, I was a little bored with drugs and sex, and I thought I'd do the writing thing.

You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

The best way to waste your life, is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate.

New carpet will exude poisonous formaldehyde for up to two years after it'd been laid. I know the feeling.

Hey, even the Mona Lisa is falling apart.

I feel my heart ache, but I've forgotten what that feeling means.

We all have this moment, when your folks first see you as someone not growing up to be them.