I haven't shoplifted since I was 13.

When you're thinking about the rest of your life, you're never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.

So here I am. This is as good as it gets. Take it or leave it.

I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune... but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. I hope, therefore I am.

His saliva tasted like the wet dicks of ten thousand lonely truck drivers.

I think, in a way, I invented the term 'fight club' and that these things have always existed, but they never really had a label. Nobody had a language to apply to them. I created that language in two words and I've been paid a great deal of money for inventing two words and labeling something that has always been around.

What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your hostages just long enough so you can use the bathroom.