Which is worse, hell or nothing?

Unless we have that moment of chaos, followed by the emotional release of realization, nothing will be remembered.

Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity, you will become a statistic.

You can tell a more over-the-top incredible story if you use a nonfiction form.

Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love.

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.

I learned all those jokes in second grade. Second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap.