The only biodiversity we're going to have left is Coke versus Pepsi. We're landscaping the whole world one stupid mistake at a time.

People don't listen, they just wait for their turn to talk.

People will listen to you only when they know you're dying, otherwise they're just waiting for their turn to talk.

Her voice makes me think of her mouth makes me think of her breath makes me think of her breasts.

Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.

Alternating the thoughtful task of writing with the mindless work of laundry or dish washing will give you the breaks you need for new ideas and insights to occur. If you don't know what comes next in the story... clean your toilet. Change the bed sheets. For Christ sakes, dust the computer. A better idea will come.

Get married before the sex gets boring or you'll never get married.