Seek midday nourishment. Visit memorial acclaimed war hero Colonel Sanders.

What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your hostages just long enough so you can use the bathroom.

Part of her doing suicide intervention is my caseworker has to mix me another gin and tonic.

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies.

Women are already born so far ahead ability-wise. The day men can give birth, that's when we can start talking about equal rights.

Let's all embrace someone near us. Pick someone special to you. Tell this someone how you feel.

Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.