The thing about making a documentary in Las Vegas is there isn't much to film apart from other people making documentaries about Las Vegas.

Reading and writing... are exciting. The most exciting things I can think of. And now, as I reflect... I have to say that I've been lucky in that I'm amused by what I do - sufficiently amused.

When you cut it up, put the pieces in your mouth and swallowed them, the British hamburger shaped itself to the bottom on your stomach like ballast, while interacting with your gastric juices to form an incipient belch of enormous potential, an airship which had been inflated in a garage. This belch, when silently released, would cause people standing twenty yards away to start examining the soles of their shoes. The vocalized version sounded like a bag of tools thrown into a bog.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

Little books are the things to write at my age, I've decided. Avoid the big ones, go for the little ones.

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

A lot of my poems are about how ill I am and how I probably won't live beyond next week. I publish a poem and everyone says 'cluck cluck, how wonderful, how brave', but then embarrassingly I'm still here! You see the problem?