It's my mission to tell the Australians from abroad in my work that Australia is a wonderful place.

His pear-shaped head, I could now see, was situated on top of a pear-shaped body, which his black gown caused to resemble a piece of fruit going to a funeral.

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.

Roscoe Tanner seems to have found a way of making his service go even faster, so that the ball is now quite invisible, like Stealth, the American supersonic bomber which nobody has ever seen.

The rattle of plastic keys reminds me of a squadron of butterflies failing to fight their way out of a paper bag.

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

Little books are the things to write at my age, I've decided. Avoid the big ones, go for the little ones.