President Bush delivered a commencement speech at a university in Wisconsin. A very inspirational speech. Apparently Bush told the students, 'You can do anything in life if your parents work hard enough.'

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

The Olive Garden is bringing back its 'Pasta Pass,' which lets you eat as much pasta as you want for seven weeks. In a related story, Chris Christie just suspended his campaign.

The top 15 contenders for the Republican nomination own at least 40 guns among them. If we elect a Republican president no one is hopping over the White House fence ever again.

President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was drive straight down the center and piss everyone off.

Today in Washington, D.C., several government buildings were left without power. Of course, the White House will be without power for two more years.

John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.