Yesterday, after the Thanksgiving parade, Donald Trump appeared at Macy's to promote his new line of fragrances and business suits. Unfortunately, there were high winds and Trump's hair nearly killed two people.

One of the candidates running for governor is a 100-year-old woman. Yeah, the 100-year-old says she'd like to recall Governor Gray Davis, but more importantly, she'd like to recall where she left her teeth.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last year, but they weren't deciphered until this week.

Over-thinking in your brain is anathema to the process of thinking on your feet.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is gonna be the new governor of California. During his acceptance speech Arnold said 'I will not let you down.' Unfortunately, at the time Arnold was holding a woman over his head and looking up her dress.

I've always heard that women secretly want their father. So I used to walk around in a 1950s business suit, with a hat and a pipe. My opening line would be, 'You should be getting to bed now.'

I'm a paranoid person. And I think - I'm the kind of person that can come up with lots of negative scenarios. But I remembered thinking that seemed like - that was a stretch even for me.