Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set. This country never turns against a black anything.'

California's 74-year-old Senator Barbara Boxer announced she will not run for re-election in 2016. When I saw the headline '74-Year-Old Boxer,' I assumed they were making another 'Rocky' movie.

Pope Francis said that atheists are still eligible to go to heaven. To return the favor, atheists said Popes are still eligible to go into a void of nothingness.

It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.

President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice to finally see a friendly face.'