Russia's Vladimir Putin appeared in public for the first time after a mysterious 10-day absence. Putin said it took him that long to recover from the finale of 'The Bachelor.'

People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I know what goes on down there, because I'm a huge douche.'

Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had named you 'Jeb.'

Yesterday, the country of Kosovo unveiled an 11-foot tall statue of former President Clinton. Yeah. That's right. The Clinton statue is so life-like, it's already been slapped 12 times.

This morning, due to a massive storm, at least 150,000 people in San Francisco were left without power. Of course, people in San Francisco without power are usually called Republicans.

A Saudi Arabian prince has said that oil may never again rise above $100 a barrel. He said it's gotten so bad he can't afford to buy his wife her own car that she's not allowed to drive.

This year's Olympics will be replacing the women's beach volleyball bikinis with uniforms that are less revealing. The stricter dress code was made to appease the conservative nation of 'Buzzkillistan.'