For the first time since 2007, the FDA Has approved a new device to treat obesity. The amazing breakthrough is called a vegetable.

Scientists say the European space probe that landed on the comet has detected organic matter. This means there could be either life in space or a Whole Foods. We just don't know.

The birth certificate of the royal baby lists her parents' occupations as being 'the prince and princess of the United Kingdom.' It says that under occupation, which I guess sounds better than 'unemployed.'

Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people.

A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect as many as seven Americans.

Donald Trump is going to make an announcement about running for President on the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice. Not to be outdone, the same night the Cake Boss will reveal his plan for overhauling Medicare.

Iran is celebrating the nuclear deal. The Iranians are going crazy. They're drinking non-alcoholic champagne and thinking about dancing. That's how excited they are.