California officials want to contain a measles outbreak that originated in Disneyland last month. They are in luck because everyone who is exposed to it is still in line at Space Mountain.
Conan O'BrienCongress is debating a kill switch that would allow President Obama to freeze all activity on the internet if there was a national emergency. The kill switch goes by the top-secret code name 'Microsoft Windows.'
Conan O'BrienPresident Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was drive straight down the center and piss everyone off.
Conan O'BrienPresident Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.
Conan O'BrienIn Sarah Palin's new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, 'Thank you, God,' which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin.
Conan O'BrienAll I ask is one thing, and Iโm asking this particularly of young people: please donโt be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, itโs my least favorite quality and it doesnโt lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and youโre kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien