It was reported today that the machine on board the International Space Station that turns urine into drinking water has been fixed. After hearing this, an astronaut said, 'Wait. You mean that wasn't lemon Tang?'

The White House admitted that Vice President Biden's endorsement of gay marriage forced him to come out in favor of it. So in a related story millions of Americans are trying to get Biden hooked on pot.

People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida.

The White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death photo. Better yet, they're doing it on a set of limited edition commemorative plates.

Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.

Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won Apprentice. Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands.

The U.S. team has swept all the medals in the skeet shooting event. So despite our bad economy, it's nice to know our country has never been safer from an attack of skeets.