This is official today. China has surpassed the U.S. and now has the No. 1 economy in the world. After hearing this, China's children asked, 'So now can we take a lunch break?'
Conan O'BrienIn his apology, Arnold Schwarzenegger said he was sorry to the women that he groped, and he admitted that he had acted badly. Not only that, Arnold then apologized for acting badly in all of his movies.
Conan O'BrienThe Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.
Conan O'BrienAll I ask is one thing, and Iโm asking this particularly of young people: please donโt be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, itโs my least favorite quality and it doesnโt lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and youโre kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien