I mean come on. Do you know how easy it is to be famous these days? Do you have any idea? The web has made it plausible to have your very own platform to stand and spew nonsense from on an hourly basis. There's an old saying: when everyone is special, no one will be. These days, everybody thinks they're special, so no one really does anything to be special anymore.

It was always a thrill for me, getting out of the cocoon and wandering. I'd let the wind wrap around me like fire and slip into the unknown with a moment's hesitation.

Emo is pathetic. It's a tired attempt at making bad music cool, all while rocking dumb haircuts and unisexual belts. Furthermore, adding the suffix '-core' to a description doesn't make it innovative. It makes you look like a tool with no imagination.

She has BIG feet! Oh my god, have you seen Sandra Bullocks feet? They're like the size of rulers!

I don't know whether we will find ourselves in the cross hairs, pulled by the short hairs, or just trying to find the next inane hairstyle. But change is coming; it is inevitable. It is as steady and reliable as a ticking clock.

I want karma to drive stakes into the dark hearts that keep me bitter.

When Paris Hilton can top the bestsellers' lists, we are one more Connect Four move closer to Armageddon.