A great writer named Neal Stephenson said that America does four things better than any other country in the world: rock music, movies, software and high-speed pizza delivery. All of these are sacred American art forms. Let's return to our purity and our idealism while we have this shot.

Don't date the captain of the football team; be the captain of the football team.

You know, if Nicole Kidman was a rock star, she'd be alot more professional than me, I'm sorry.

I'm offended every time I see George Bush on TV!

What makes the most money for this business? Dead rock stars.

I wanted my anger to be valid, and the only way to do that is to be fairly attractive.

I am God and my lawyers are my 12 disciples...do not f**k with me!