There's even one for your titties. I haven't done the boobs mask one yet-you just stick it on your tits, apparently. I have to try it. But I did the foot one and the hand one yesterday, and it makes my skin crazy. It's like I just had sex for four days.

I'm covered with loser dust.

I don't really miss God but I sure miss Santa Claus!

When I see 16 year-olds waiting for me, I just want to spank them and give them guitars and tell them to start bands. It's a bummer that girls have to respond to rock artists sexually instead of, like, 'wow, me too!'.

I think when you get married, it should be forever. Even though I did get married once and it was annulled. I don't know. For myself, I just want to have kids by the same person and stay with the same person.

[Kurt Cobain] had a lot of German in him. Some Irish. But no Jew. I think that if he had had a little Jew he would have [expletive] stuck it out.

No one's coming in seeing my dogs, daughter or the crack of my ass, forget it.