I don't need plastic in my body to validate me as a woman.

A great writer named Neal Stephenson said that America does four things better than any other country in the world: rock music, movies, software and high-speed pizza delivery. All of these are sacred American art forms. Let's return to our purity and our idealism while we have this shot.

You’ve got to be prepared for the names they are going to call you compared to your male peers… You will be a floozy and a slattern. He will be virile and a ladies’ man. You will be a freakshow, a retching wretch, a sloppy drunk. He will be charismatic, vainglorious, a ferocious drunk and Dionysian. You will be indiscriminate and desperate. He will be generous, tortured and driven.

You want to live the dream? You do what you want on your terms.

I'm offended every time I see George Bush on TV!

But let me tell you something. Gloria Steinem never helped me out; Larry Flynt did.

Much of my high-jinx have been drug-related. When you're under 30, whatever, but once you're past 40 it's just ugly.