John and I weren't capable of getting back to Kenwood from there, so the four of us sat up for the rest of the night as the walls moved, the plants talked, other people looked like ghouls and time stood still. It was horrific: I hated the lack of control and not knowing what was going on or what would happen next.
Cynthia LennonWhen John was with me, it was total commitment. Whatever he did outside our relationship didn't seem very important. We were together such a lot of the time that whatever other affairs he had once we met couldn't have amounted to much because I was with him most of the time. He kept me in Liverpool as late as I dared stay.
Cynthia LennonRingo had this habit of lighting up two cigarettes, one for Maureen at the same time that he lit his own. I remember thinking it was a loving thing to do and wishing John did it for me. But that would have been too obviously demonstrative, maybe, for John.
Cynthia LennonI was proud, excited and a little frightened. It was all taking off so quicklyโฆthe more successful the boys were, the further away from me John felt. I was getting used to being a mum, but most of the time I felt like a single parentโฆit was hard not to feel frustrated with being stuck at home. I loved Julian, but I knew that if I hadnโt had him I could have seen much more of John and that was hardโฆI felt shut off from the life he was living. After years at his side, I was excluded, just as it was all happening.
Cynthia Lennon