I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me.

My whole thing is to entertain, make people laugh and to forget about the real world for awhile.

I have this kind of mild nice-guy exterior, but inside my heart is like a steel trap.

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning.

I get offers all the time from film makers, but they are unknown quantities. I don't go there and do experiments.

I drive a V10 Ford Excursion and I have to tell folks all the time: look I've got five kids and a dog and birds. I would have to have two Lincolns with two V8s, you see, so it would be 16 cylinders.

The reason I'm here today, the reason I own a brand new Harley-Davidson motorcycle and the reason I have a big log cabin and I got cars and all kinds of stuff is because I'm a writer and writers own everything. So you learn how to write.