We must come to the point where we realize the concept of race is a false one. There is only one race, the human race.

I drive a V10 Ford Excursion and I have to tell folks all the time: look I've got five kids and a dog and birds. I would have to have two Lincolns with two V8s, you see, so it would be 16 cylinders.

I don't like people lying to me. I don't like people who don't return my calls. I don't like people who won't give me a straight answer. I don't like those kinds of people, and I've been vocal about it.

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning.

Parodies of commercials are by no means new and have been popular going back to black-and-white TV shows of the '50s.

I like really good movies, but I can enjoy a really bad movie, too.

Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.