'I want to touch people but if I touch them in real life they'll slap me.' That's what writing isit's a gross person getting a hug.

I love 30 Rock. It's one of my favorite shows. It's certainly the gold standard of comedy writing.

Television is a populous, derivative, democratic medium.

There's a fine line between a stream of consciousness and a babbling brook to nowhere.

Wake up in the morning and say, 'I refuse to be a hack,' and see what happens by the end of the day.

I always try to use my medium, and if I get into a normal sitcom-writing contest with normal sitcom writers, I'm going to lose.

Pretty sad. Pretty lonely. But that's how I prefer it? I quess? I guess. It's a good guess. It's the best quess ever.