Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

Who is the best the sportswriter who wore shorts? I keep trying to envision Grantland Rice or John Lardner in shorts. It never occurred to me to wear shorts. I'd look too silly to wear shorts.

The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.

Lonnie says it doesn't take long to write a song if you're stricken with a severe case of the Tennysons. He wasn't necessarily talking about a chart-climber.

Laughter is the only thing that'll cut trouble down to a size where you can talk to it.

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.