Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.

Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.

The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.

Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.

I had always suspected that trying to play golf in the company of big-time pros and a gallery would be something like walking naked into choir practice.

There have been so many great moments in golf that you even forget some of them.

Much of the fire with him [Ben Hogan] was lit by Byron Nelson, who came from the same town - the same caddie yard - and achieved fame and fortune several years ahead of Ben and who, as a kid, had always been popular and better liked than Ben. No puzzle at all.