You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a white sheet. You can wash it, and wash it, and still never forget what has transpired - a word which here means 'happened, and made everybody sad'.

I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.

The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.

Sometimes words are not enough. There are some circumstances so utterly wretched that I cannot describe them in sentences or paragraphs or even a whole series of books.

I do think of emotions as being on a circular path, so you can feel terrible and terrible and terrible, and then all of a sudden it becomes quite funny.