For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.

I'd made pretty clear to the people at Paramount and Dreamworks that, if they wanted Lemony Snicket to comment, he would be completely horrified by the entire film. And as long as they understood that, it was okay. I'm not much of a fan of DVD commentaries myself, so this was my way of getting revenge, in a sense, for all the puffed-up directors and stars who talk endlessly about the self-aggrandizing minutiae of making a movie.

Sometimes words are not enough.

We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

The only thing he cares about.

The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.