Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.

It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought, sooner or later becomes an adult.

Life isn't fair," he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.

There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.

[I]t was the color of someone buying you an ice cream cone for no reason at all.

This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?

Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.