There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you donโt know and even the people you donโt want to know, a crying that cannot be diluted by a brave deed or a kind word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face.
Daniel HandlerJust because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.
Daniel HandlerScolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because children donโt have what it takes to scold. You need only three things, really. You need time, to think up scolding things to say. You need effort, to put these scolding things in a good order, so that the scolding can be more and more insulting to the person being scolded. And you need chutzpah, which is a word for the sort of show-offy courage it takes to stand in front of someone and give them a good scolding, particularly if they are exhausted and sore and not in the mood to hear it.
Daniel HandlerSometime during your lifeโin fact, very soonโyou may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a bookโs first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
Daniel Handler