Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you're kidding.

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.

In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.

I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.

It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains.

Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by.