It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.
Daniel HandlerIt is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
Daniel HandlerReader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
Daniel HandlerMorning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
Daniel HandlerAnd a refrigerator may hold a basket of strawberries, which would be important if a maniac said to you, "If you don't give me a basket of strawberries right now, I'm going to poke you with this large stick." But when the two elder Baudelaires and Quigley Quagmire opened the refrigerator, they found nothing that would help someone who was wounded, dying of thirst, or being threatened by a strawberry-crazed, stick-carrying maniac.
Daniel Handler