Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again.
Daniel HandlerYou know, there's a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.
Daniel HandlerWhenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware.
Daniel HandlerTo hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.
Daniel Handler