Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.

I was once almost forced off the stage at a large chain bookstore that shall remain nameless, because she introduced me as Lemony Snicket, and I immediately interrupted her and said, "Oh no, Lemony Snicket isn't here," and then she tried to cancel the event right then and there.

For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.

The end of 'The End' is the best place to begin 'The End', because if you read 'The End' from the beginning of the beginning of 'The End' to the end of the end of 'The End', you will arrive at the end.

For Beatrice, I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished.

'Help me,' Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.

What you don't read is often as important as what you do read.