Hello, freaky peoples!

Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.

I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!

Anyone who knew Violet well could tell she was thinking hard, because her long hair was tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. Violet had a real knack for inventing and building strange devices, so her brain was often filled with images of pulleys, levers, and gears, and she never wanted to be distracted by something as trivial as her hair.

So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.