This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.

Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.

The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.

It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.

For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.

It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought, sooner or later becomes an adult.