I'd made pretty clear to the people at Paramount and Dreamworks that, if they wanted Lemony Snicket to comment, he would be completely horrified by the entire film. And as long as they understood that, it was okay. I'm not much of a fan of DVD commentaries myself, so this was my way of getting revenge, in a sense, for all the puffed-up directors and stars who talk endlessly about the self-aggrandizing minutiae of making a movie.

Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.

Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?