Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I.

That’s the thing about things. They tend to happen.

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.

I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.