No more running away from something or someone or myself.

No more running away from something or someone or myself.

I usually want to die or do nothing.

I'm lonely. What kind of loneliness? Every kind. I feel disconnected. Abandoned. As always. Repetition. So what, my love? So what? At first, I just wanted to run away. Now I have no where else to run to, nothing to run from. I don't belong anywhere, I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to be happy.

I wonder whats wrong with me. Sometimes I just keep wanting to go deeper and deeper into the world of self destruction. Like as if I want to see myself fail completely and disappear.

I already accepted that I relate to nothing. The more I gain, the more lonely it is I know I'm like a ghost.

I feel kinda happy. I discover that you were not leaving or disappearing. It is like you are here, there and everywhere. Just in the air. You taught me about time. I am now learning about space. It seems that both just vanish. It is awesome. Maybe the closest feeling to love.