If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.
Dave BarryThe president, apparently, was so totally unaware of where his foreign policy was that he had to appoint a distinguished commission to help him locate it, and when the commissioners called him in to testify, he told them, essentially, that he couldn't remember what it looked like. Now, if Richard Nixon had claimed something like that you would at least have had the comfort of knowing he was lying. You could trust Nixon that way. But with this president, you have this nagging feeling that he's telling the truth.
Dave BarryAnd now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
Dave BarryThe Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service.
Dave BarryHis body rigid with terror as he waited for the savages to something horrible to himโbash his head with clubs, or stab him with spears, orโฆ โฆor tap him on the shoulder.
Dave BarryLeonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality. โYou mean,โ said Fighting Prawn, โfor not killing you?โ โYes,โ said Leonard. โIt was very gracious of you.โ โDo you,โ said Leonard, โI mean, does you tribe, shake hands?โ โNo,โ said Fighting Prawn. โWe kiss on the lips.โ โOh,โ said Leonard, looking very alarmed.
Dave Barry