American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the DMV.

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don't care where it goes.

It is an inconvenience, being located in a city where taxes are ludicrously high, where you pay twice your annual income to rent an apartment that could easily be carried on a commercial airline flight.

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.